9 posts tagged “thoughts”

This is from a yahoo finance article featured on lifehacker.com:

"Rich in Time

How much would people sacrifice to spend an extra hour a day with family or loved ones? A quarter would only give up 5 percent of their salary; 15 percent would sacrifice 10 percent of their income; 4 percent would give up 20 percent of pay; and 5 percent would tolerate a cut of more than 20 percent.

The group who most desired time rather than the money? Men age 45 to 54, with 61 percent reporting they would make the tradeoff. "We're one of few nations in the world without a mandatory vacation policy or a maximum limit on the amount of overtime you can ask someone to work," says Kasser. "We're time-poverty-stricken."

Kasser has conducted a variety of studies that found people who are "time affluent" are happier than those who are materially affluent. "Time-affluent people had more time to spend engaged in activities focused on personal growth, friends, and family and contributing to community" -- all essential factors in happiness, he explains.

Meanwhile, experts agree that financial comfort can be achieved by carefully managing the money you have -- something 23 percent of survey respondents said they don't have the knowledge to do."

It’s pretty interesting that you can divide this world into two basic groups:  those that like to write or blog and those that don’t.  My lovely wife has really no interest at all in writing a journal or blog and yet I really enjoy doing it.  In contrast to me, she takes great satisfaction from working on and completing projects—for example, she just finished another three! online classes (php, javascript and xml) and got A’s in them all!  She also likes to cook and bake and do some artsy-crafty projects from time to time.  While she has enjoyed putting puzzles together in the past, I don’t think I’ve ever done a single one.

For those of us who are writer and journaller-types, we find value in writing thoughts down even if others don’t read them at all.  There’s something very important about slowing down time and capturing thoughts, memories and impressions that will soon be gone.  (What happened back in 2004 ?  Many are really not so sure.)

Another thing I’ve noted is that when I write about things that are going on, I can make sense of them and appreciate and understand them more.  I can see patterns and learn from how I see God operating in this world and in my life and others.  The proof of the value of writing for me is made clear every time I choose to take notes in the nice leather-bound “sermon journal” I picked up with Ivy when we were in Venice on our Honeymoon five years ago.  If I takes notes on what the pastor is saying and follow the flow of his message myself, I get at least 80% more out of it.  It’s amazingly different.  “Boring” messages are turned into profound ones.  There’s a reason students are told to take notes in class.

At my job, I negotiate contract terms quite a bit with suppliers and customers and the last several weeks have been particularly busy because of the end of the year.  So as a result I've had quite a few teleconferences with various legal people from other companies recently and there been lots of negotiating & maneuvering and polite arguing.  For the most part I like doing this a lot and I've seen very clearly how just about everything that appears to be set in stone can be made flexible with enough pressure or financial incentives (no, not bribery or extortion).

However, this past week I started to argue and debate more than I should with people providing services outside of my job and I've learned it just isn't worth it.  When our web hosting company basically increased our rate slightly, I launched into an epic email struggle with them in which I was digging up old email and pounding them for being inconsistent.  You shouldn't just sit back and do nothing but the amount of energy I put into this was way out of proportion to the benefit I got.  Something similar happened when our apartment manager wanted to take up some of our closet space to install a new drier vent for the people below us and I had a big telephone showdown over the terms of our lease about whether they could do this.  Again, for the amount of energy I spent on this (and for an apartment we're going to be leaving in several months) it's just not worth it.

I also appreciate in the John Adams biography I'm close to finishing that in Adams older years he became less feisty and pugnacious and saw this as the effects of accumulated wisdom.  Similarly, his penpal Thomas Jefferson--despite being a lawyer, president, etc--actually refrained from arguing with people directly at all.  I believe he didn't find it dignified.   Finally, on the presidential theme, it's interesting to see how Bush Senior and Clinton have developed a good friendship over the years after their bitter presidential race and they've united on common causes.  I like that.  It seems wise and the right thing to do.

This past December 5th, my lovely sister Melissa turned 32 (this is the one month out of the year we're just a year apart) and good amigo Cameron F turned 33!

At my company's Christmas ("Holiday") party, on Friday, Lovely Ivy spoke with one of the many Dutch guys who work with me. He described how the Dutch celebrate Christmas differently than the Americans (and presumably the British) do. I think the Dutch model has a lot of advantages for good reasons. Over there in The Netherlands, their Santa Claus equivalent comes and brings gifts for the family and friends sometime during the first week of December. Then, on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, no presents are exchanged because that's all been taken care of already. What is great about this is that you don't focus on the materialistic aspects of what should be a family-centered spiritual holiday and so instead a family can better emphasize what's truly important--very similar to how Thanksgiving works in the U.S.   Ivy and I both like their approach much better. We suspect that the retailers might have pushed for the gift exchange to happen as late in the year as possible to pump up annual sales results!?... Anyway, we may go the Dutch Christmas route with our own kids someday. (An added benefit of the Dutch approach is that everyone gets to open their presents earlier than everyone else!... Or--to rid Christmas of its materialism as much as possible--maybe we should ban all gift-giving entirely in our family? Nah--all in all, we should just go Dutch.)

My favorite class at UCLA was a "professional schools seminar" on Medical Ethics. I took it at the end of my freshman year and it was a taught by a med school professor named Dr Gabriel. Since there were only 15 students in the class, we were able to have great discussions and Dr. Gabriel was a modern-day, very serious Socrates who would ask probing questions and let us wrestle with important issues. Each week, we were assigned articles to read on a particular difficult medical issue (e.g. comatose patients; babies born addicted to crack) and after we discussed the issue in class (it was a 3-hour class) he took us into the hospital to actually see real patients suffering from these conditions. It was an amazing, sobering experience in which we connected the theoretical with the practical, real world. I remember one young woman in the class got particularly emotional and nearly fainted on seeing a poor little, prematurely born crack baby.

In addition to facilitating an excellent class, Dr. Gabriel required that we all keep a daily journal about what we did each day and the various things we thought about. He said that he's been doing this for decades and that he found it to be "one of the most worthwhile and rewarding parts of my life...." I suspected this was just hyperbole, but I've become a believer in journalling and have been doing it pretty consistently over the last 13! years since I took that class.

Here's why I do it:

- Invaluable records and memories. One of my most prized possessions is the journal I kept in Hungary in 1999-2000, and, in particular, the entry on December 7, 1999. (Isn't that when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor?...) This entry records my first impressions of meeting a young 22 year-old girl named Agi Toth (I was 26 at the time) and I was clearly smitten and genuinely overwhelmed after our very first conversation. If there is a fire in our house, I will try to grab this--and other journals--before anything else. (By the way, the risk of fire or theft is a compelling reason back up the digital contents on your computer remotely (and remotely is the key).  We use www.carbonite.com for back-up and highly recommend it.)

- Modern blogging promotes community with friends and family. I personally really enjoy reading friends' blogs and I feel I'm able to keep up with them even if we haven't talked or seen each other in a while. What's great about Vox (and probably some other blog services) is that I can restrict who can read what I'm writing. In the several weeks that I've been doing this Vox blog, I've found that I still do some personal entries on my own but for the most part, I do want to share what's going on with friends and family.

- A younger generation probably will appreciate it.  I think it's pretty cool if our kids, or grandkids, were ever curious about what "Dad or Grandpa" was up to back in 2006 in his early thirties, they could check it out online.

- Spiritual and intellectual benefits.  I've found that the process of writing brings lots of clarity to me when I have a bunch of thoughts swirling in my head. It gives me a way to think through issues and come to conclusions. Writing often takes a lot of mental concentration, but this ends up being satisfying too because pretty much everything that is worthwhile in life takes genuine effort.

Allright.  I'll stop there (maybe will add to this list in the future).  Later!

I was struck yesterday with the following:  that there is wisdom involved in not only diversifying your finances, but in diversifying your life and the way you spend your time.  We don't know how much time we'll have to live and you shouldn't just start planning to "truly live" after you do something-- for example, retire or save up a certain amount of money.  Of course, we shouldn't go into debt to "live richly."   But we should make sure to always squeeze into our schedules the things that truly matter.  Like many people, for Ivy and me that includes family, friends, church, serving others, books, traveling, exercise, music, art, being outdoors.

We enjoyed meeting up with Kevin K and competing with other tables in a trivia game at the British Trials Pub in downtown San Jose.  We also discussed the upcoming midterm elections and enjoyed a humorous exchange over my (probably extreme, but mostly valid) vision of leaving behind much of the vicious cycle of standard American-style production & consumption.

Even though Ivy and I realistically couldn't live in a big tent for months at a time in my parent's backyard (which I had semi-seriously proposed because it would save a LOT of money, allow us to see our parents a lot, etc), I hit upon something that's still valid to consider:   that Americans should step back and truly ask "WHY" we live the way we do in regards to working extremely hard 50 weeks a year to generate a lot of money which is immediately spent on living at a level which everyone thinks is "normal" but which is actually rather excessive. 

One of the benefits of traveling to different parts of the world is that you can see where Americanos are extreme (even compared to rich Western European countries) and don't even realize it:  (i) living far away from where you work (i.e. suburbs) is an unnecessary, huge expense that requires families to invest in multiple cars and spend precious time commuting when you could be at home or with friends/family instead;  (ii)  not being able to walk to places, but having to drive everywhere--from friends' houses if you're a kid to the grocery store for adults--is very expensive and consumes a lot of money and energy;  (iii) the size of our McMansion homes and cars is truly not necessary;  we've gotten used to it, and we like it overall.    But is what is "normal" for Americans the best scenario for Americans themselves and most people in general?  I believe a hard look at what is truly most important would result in the following for many people:  smaller homes & cars in exchange for more vacation time and time spent with families;  less eating out & buying stuff and instead a focus on what matters most (to most people) such as time with family, serving others in one way or another, art, sports, books, church, music, learning, biking, walking, etc.  

A specific example of what I mean is that Ivy and I would definitely be willing to live in a smaller home if we could exchange that for getting all of August off every year.  And if we could get a second month off a year if we gave up a second car, we'd do that too!  (Of course, we recognize that when you have a big family with kids, you may very well need a bigger house and a second car.)   The bummer about the American system we view as completely normal and expected--with suburban living with no public transportation and mega-mortgage debt that forces you to be a debt slave for 30 years till you pay the house off that you "have to" have-- necessitates this lifestyle of Big Consumption and Big Production and Big Debt.  For many people, this works just fine.  But it's important to recognize that there are alternatives to this and many European people live with 2 months of vacation a year and a smaller house and love it.  Overall, I've concluded I prefer that model.  (Actually, the model I think is best is running your own business and living in two different continents for half the year--but more on that later.)

To sum up, over the past few weeks I've increasingly seen the importance that Americans should ask "why" we "must" consume a large amount of living space, gasoline and food in order to live "normally".   I've also been struck by the fleeting nature of time and the importance of focusing in on what truly matters & adopting a lifestyle that promotes these values to the greatest degree possible.  I of course understand that a certain amount of money is necessary to achieve whatever lifestyle you're looking for, but clearly many Americans are sacrificing what they believe is most important (e.g. time with family and serving God and others) in order to produce and consume what they truly don't need.  

This past week, I've noticed a connection between a number of things that I wanted to write down before I forget about them.  It started with how I've been seeing more clearly how food, wine, coffee, even water all have a lot more flavor and texture to enjoy if you simply focus upon them and savor what you're eating or drinking.  For example, tonight Ivy blessed me with another phenomenal meal and I made a point of appreciating all of the unique and delightful flavors that went along with it.  Identifying all the unique spices, etc.

But this process of savoring and appreciating something extends far beyond food and drink.  I've been reading a book Laurel loaned me called "Einstein's Dreams" and it's written by a professor who is a physicist.  It describes the various different worlds that Einstein imagined would result if the physics of the universe were changed and time worked differently than it does in our universe.  For example, if time were circular, people would continually repeat their lives endlessly.  Or, if time flowed faster in some parts of the earth, and slower in others, people would age faster based upon where they live.  The book is extremely well-written with beautiful descriptions of these alternative worlds.  Besides being an interesting book, however, what I've taken away is the important of appreciating and savoring time and life itself as it moves along in a linear way.  We shouldn't live in the past or the future but we should focus upon and relish each individual moment NOW.  (I recall my Davis roommate Andy had a book on Pascal's Pensees and Pascal has a great aphorism on this very point of living in the present).  So, in addition to relishing the complexity and various flavors of food and drink- we should do so with the time God has given us.

Finally--and along these lines-- a few weeks ago Ivy and I saw the Girl With a Pearl Earring (good overall).  The highlight for me was when the painter Vermeer told the young girl to look at the clouds outside and say what color she saw.  She said initially, "white."  But then when she looked closer and stared, she said "and green, blue, yellow, red..."

I found the Pascal quote.  (I love the internet):

"47. We never keep to the present. We recall the past; we anticipate the future as if we found it too slow in coming and were trying to hurry it up, or we recall the past as if to stay its too rapid flight. We are so unwise that we wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think of the only one that does; so vain that we dream of times that are not and blindly flee the only one that is. The fact is that the present usually hurts. We thrust it out of sight because it distresses us, and if we find it enjoyable, we are sorry to see it slip away. We try to give it the support of the future, and think how we are going to arrange things over which we have no control for a time we can never be sure of reaching.

Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so. (172)"

Here we go with my blog.  I've always suspected I'd fire one up and I like how Vox allows for various settings:  friends, family or everyone.  This makes sense.

Last week I came across an article that I've been thinking about for a few days.  It described how the creator of the Dilbert comic strip (Scott Adams) has been afflicted with a terrible disease or condition called "Spasmodic Dysphonia" that often takes away a person's voice entirely or only allows for high-pitched, tinny or otherwise weird speech.  It sounds brutal and many people with this don't venture out in public as much because they don't want to talk to anyone because they're often mercilessly stared at or even mocked when trying to speak.  Thousands of people in the U.S. and elsewhere have to deal with this and it obviously seriously messes with your life and career.  I'd never heard of this before.  There are of course hundreds of thousands of ways we can all (and will, unfortunately) suffer and experience debilitation in one form or another.  But this one really stuck with me for some reason-- probably because this strikes at your dignity and something most of us take for granted.   This blog is starting off on a somber note.

One other thing somewhat related to this topic:  my lovely wife and I were talking last week about how we want to be actively involved in helping other people throughout our lives and genuinely meeting their needs and I asked her what type of person she is drawn toward helping overall.  Although she certainly has the desire and heart for helping kids (e.g. orphans in Transylania) she mentioned that she feels particular compassion for the elderly--mainly because most older people have to suffer the loss of no longer being able to do what they normally used to do and this is quite tough on a person's dignity.